inLust,inFrustration,inExhaustion

now that it's out,
i don't feel much better.
and it's disappointing.
*
i'm understanding myself more
learning to lower and even abandon the standards too high
realizing that i can't stand indifference
though i'm feeling and acting it most of the time
**
it feels good to know you've done well
it's a feeling i've missed
it's a feeling i'm grasping again
it's a feeling i plan to keep
***
and how are you?
and how are you?
but that's not what we/i really want to ask
and it's all you're going to hear.
(we rarely say what we mean,
yet we get angry at the other's ignorance.
since when are they obligated to understand?)