labored breathing,
shaky sighs,
trembling limbs,
one. two. three. a falter. four.
the hissing friction of noose to neck
more gasps for air.
*dialogues**bewilderedlooks**pleads**realization*
*SILENCE*
and he hangs there,
wrists bound, as if praying.
for what? salvation in the afterlife?
the irony's sickening.

"It was a terrible experience, and I will never get over it."
*dialogues*
"you DIDN'T want to save him."

and there was the portrait of him.
and that guilt that'll be with him.
knawing him, dissolving him, killing him.

-Capote

a.minute.later

i didn't mean that.
not seriously.

help me pull through.

screw those commitments.

in everyone's shoes/hair

there's really no need to be angry,
mean even.
yes her ringtone's sharp and irritating,
but yours is too, perhaps even louder.
yes she moves around noisily, ocassionally kicking the ladder,
but so do i, as with her, and her, and her.

i'm not being a hypocrite (at least i don't think so)
when saying that there's no point making her life miserable;
because she DOES live in this room too
i hate that awkward tension and hostility
that radiates off you without hindrance.
at least, think again before biting out another prejudice,
and see if it pertains to us too.
because usually it does,
and it only irritates you guys because she's the one who did it.

commitment:45

here it goes again:
1(preferably more)/end of month
3/next two months
45:December
1hour/2times/week

the panic i felt when the swinging stopped.
oh the horror *slaps forehead*

matter-of-fact

now that i think about it, i shouldn't have been so--
laid-back about the whole thing.
but then,
using the guys' restrooms isn't that big of a deal,
no one was in there and i well.. NEEDED to go.
guess that guy was pretty shocked to see a girl come out
*snickers*
the place was pretty rundown anyways,
guess that's why i didn't think much of it.

exasperated;

i'm upset.
and confused as to what i'm supposed to do now.
i mean, the underwear is found.
with stains that i'm sure WEREN'T THERE BEFORE.
really, at least have the courtesy to wash it
before slipping it into my laundry.